I bet God is Hilarious

Last week, my co-worker/arch nemesis Tanya suggests that I join a writing group in the area that she heard about through a friend of a friend. She told me to submit a sample (which I did), so the leader of this group could get a feel for my writing style and content. Turns out, Tanya (our on-air "personality") doesn't have friends under the age of 70, and wasn't aware that this was a "Christian" based writing forum, and now I'm going to have to kick her ass, and by kick her ass I mean verbally assault her 'cause she is way bigger than me and it would probably be a blood bath. So, at this point, it is clear to me that the "prose" that I submitted for this writing group's perusal will not be well received....at all. At this point in the story, anyone reading this should be able to ascertain, with a large degree of accuracy, how this is going to turn out..........and the telephone rings:

ME: KHBT Radio - this is KC, how may I help you?

CALLER: May I speak with Kathleen Courtney please

ME: Oh, this is Kathleen Courtney

CALLER: Oh, I thought you said your name was KC

ME: I did - that is my radio persona

CALLER: Oh.......(pause)....OK(?)...., well I am calling to discuss your submission to our Christian Writing Forum

ME: I see - and with whom am I speaking?

CALLER: This is Pastor Mike and I lead the Forum

ME: fuck.....(thought it - didn't say it).

CALLER: Kathleen, after reading your submission and looking at your blog on line, we have decided that our little group may not be the ideal venue for you

ME: So, you're kicking me out?!

CALLER: Well no, you aren't actually a member - I am just suggesting that your "style of writing" may be more appropriate for a different group.

ME: Could you be more specific Pastor - what part of my submission do you have issues with?

CALLER: Well, for one, your tendency to use the "F bomb"

ME: I could probably clean that up a bit and use the Christian version of the "F bomb"

CALLER: There is no Christian version of the "F bomb"

ME: Oh.......wait, what about "frig"?

CALLER: Um......Our group is really for creative writing about Our Lord Jesus Christ and how his presence in our lives affects us. I didn't really see any reference to God or church in your writings.

ME: Well, that is because God isn't really funny. I might be able to throw a couple of Jesus Christ's in there to replace my "F bombs". Oh, and I could probably put some funny stuff together about parochial school and mean nuns; or wait, maybe something like the Church Lady from SNL - I could totally do something like that..

CALLER: Uh, no, that won't be necessary - but thank you for your submission. We will pray for you Kathleen. Click........

OH, IT'S ON PASTOR MIKE!!!!!