Monday, August 24, 2009

Ashes and Asses

I'd forgotten what a pain in the ass picking up a child from elementary school can be. There is a process to be followed. A one-way street with two lanes runs directly in front of the school's entrance. Cars wait in line in the lane closest to the school. When the child is picked up, you may veer left into the other lane in order to get around the line of cars still waiting for children. It sounds pretty simple, but apparently not.
*To the blue intrepid that insists on getting in line with the waiting cars only to put your car in park and exit the vehicle to enter the building to find your child: Consider this a warning.....there are people that want to put a hit out on you. Stop it.
*To the white escalade behind above mentioned vehicle: Why the fuck do you keep honking? There is no one in the vehicle.
*To the black Dodge Ram that uses the left lane to wait for your their child thereby cutting off any means of escape for those of us who have our children loaded and ready to are a "jackhole"...'nuff said.

On a less homicidal note: The ash spreading went well. Mom's golf buddies were there with us and no police were involved. You will notice that my youngest is wearing two different shirts in the pictures below. He donned an Iowa hawkeye jersey for the actual ash spreading as my Mom was a huge hawkeye fan. He got a little carried away running and spreading at the same time. Not a good idea. And no, that is not beer in those cans, so no need to call DHS.


  1. I lost my mom in 2000. We took her ashes, secretly, to her favorite outdoor shopping center and put them in the flower beds near Saks 5th Avenue, her mecca...

  2. Glad the ash spreading went off without a hitch! I was waiting to see if we'd hear about you on the National News. Apparently they thought my notice about it was frivolous...

    And about school! My daughter started today. But with all the mess with the pick-up/drop-off last year, we just avoid that whole mess and park nearby and walk. It seems to keep our (at least mommy's) stress level to a minimum early morning!
    Isn't it funny that people universally just can't grasp the pick-up/drop-off lines?!

    Have a great day! Thanks for sharing your photos!

  3. As I live across the street from an elementary school, I totally sympathize. I don't even try to leave my house 2 times a day...they might pound me as I try to squeeze on to the street.

    I may never look at a golf course the same way...I'll have to stop and say hello just in case to pay my respects. Glad it went well.

  4. Proof that people who drive Escalades are idiots.

    Glad the rain didn't ruin things for you. Great pictures. You have a beautiful family.

  5. There is not another more stress filled time than school drop off/pick up. It blows.

    Our PTA issued mandatory "volunteer" morning drop off assistants, meaning, two parents arrive at 8:30 am to direct traffic through the drop off zone. Cars are to line up, drop off, and depart. No parking in the zone.

    It mostly works. There are some lamebrains clogging up the flow. It ain't perfect, but so far no homicides.

  6. You must, pick your kid up at the same school I did for years.

    Me for 5 years: Why do you have PARK in the Pickup Line?!! Get the eff out of my way so that I can get back to work!!!

  7. What a marvelous way to honor your Ma! I dig it, I dig it. My brother's wish (he passed away August 9th this year) was to have his ashes scattered from a fishing boat into the Gulf Stream in the Atlantic Ocean. Kindred spirits, I think...

    Thank you for the follow!

    Irish Gumbo

  8. I walked my oldest to kindergarten last year. I don't think I could have made it through car drop off without a 25 to life sentence.

  9. Glad to hear it went well hun. Sounds lovely and good to know it went without a hitch!

  10. Thanks for stopping by - I thought I'd do the same.

    My wife's a twin and we buried her father this January - funny the similarities that this place throws up....